DATED MARCH 10TH 20__MUSIC CUESANNOUNCER: Hey everybody! Welcome to "Fuck Talk" with MelanieJackson"! The show that talks about, you guessed it! FUCKING! Anykind of fucking! Straight fucking! Gay fucking! Any kind of fuckingyou can think of! Aaaaand nowww, here's the host of "Fuck Talk",Melanie Jackson!"The audience goes wild.MELANIE: O kay everybody, are you ready to talk about FUCKING?!"The audience goes wild again.MELANIE: Before we get started, I'd like to welcome my Aunt Lucy tothe studio audience who's here today with some of her friends fromthe Shady Rest Retirement Community Welcome ladies!The audience goes wild again. The camera goes to them and while AuntLucy is waving, the other ladies seem somewhat perplexed.MELANIE: Well, my first guest today isn't really here to talk aboutfucking though, he is here to talk about sucking, cock sucking, thatis. He is the author of a new book entitled "Confessions of aTranssexual Beauty Pageant Cocksucker" Please welcome Ken ZuckerKen. Sinister ... Like smiling snakes." Well, the nicest thing about it, Daddy's Little Helper, there, does most of his best smiling when you can't see it -- when he's inside his lair, there." I'm not sure I go for that bit of imagery much, either!" Juniper said.Tuesday morning before dawn, we left the house together in the Cooper. We were leaving more than an hour earlier than necessary for Juniper to make it to work on time, but she wanted to drive me to the airport.In my absence, she planned to stay alone in my apartment until her flight to Toronto, two days hence. Her bubbly attitude from the previous night was still evident, even though the sun hadn't even come up yet as we approached BWI."Travis, I think this thing is, y'know, working," she said."Us, you mean?" This one-man woman thing," she said. "I like it, I think." It's important for everyone, Babe, to have somebody to call your own ... Real important ... Watch it! There's the exit ramp." I almost drove right by it," Juniper.
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